I am so grateful

I just heard that without any challenges, life is not really worth it. Challenging yourself means you are trying to better yourself. I could not agree more. I was told to challenge myself and then make sure I acknowledge the fact that what I am doing is a challenge and what I am potentially accomplishing. My response was “well I cannot think of any challenges I my life, I don’t run a company or and working on a marathon, Im just a stay at home mom”. How wrong was my thinking. VERY! Everyday I choose to wake up and take care of other people. I have 4 kids who need my attention constantly, I take care of my neice and nephew while their parents are going to school, and still need to do my daily chores to keep the house a home. Most days I feel like the behind the stage people. You know the people who changes sets, or get costumes ready, or even the people who make sure actors are fed. The actors get praise and admired, but without the other people no one would like the actors as much. SO I am trying to change my thinking.
Today I…
listened to whiney children fight and tattle on eachother…I solved problems and showed others how to deal with daily conflict
had to do dishes and make dinner… had the opportunity to give people nutritious and cost effective meals
helped kids with homework…enhancing the future of others
had whiney kids in class who needed to be read to… I got to share love with kids who might not get as much at home.
Some days I think I just need to breathe and remember that everything is working out for the best outcome. And if the dishes done get put away today so I can listen to kids read so be it. Dishes won’t go anywhere but the love of reading will grow daily if I show kids how to nurture it.

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Hurry up and wait

Life has been full. The last few months have been full. it is strange to live like this. When time seems to be both speeding up and slowing down at the same time. In the time since I wrote last, we have had birthdays, graduations, deaths, and births. We have visited out of town family and taken vacations. I’ve knit, spun yarn, started a cross stitch pattern, cooked many new meals, and washed tons of dishes. And I’ve struggled. With not being good enough, with being judged by family and strangers, with trying to complete things without being busy.

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Slow down

You are allowed to slow down,
You are allowed to turn off your phone,
You are allowed to lie done in the sun.

This is my new mantra. I am allowed to sit and knit if it brightens my day. I am allowed to sit and color with the kids and enjoy the moment.

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Wordless Wednesday

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My knitting

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Not a ton of knitting is getting done.10 days of sick kids will do that. My hands are busy rubbing kids backs and playing with their hair. It always helps them recover quicker. They lay on the couch with their head on my lap, and I wish I could grow a third arm. Two for knitting one for sick kids…I know it will pass. I’m just hoping for sooner rather than later.

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Struggle

I have been struggling lately. With EVERYTHING. My rhythm was thrown off and I can’t seem to grasp it at all. One week rolls into the next with no rest or even a time to pause for a deep breath. My love of crafting is slowly drowning. It is being suffocated with dishes that need to be done and laundry waiting to be folded. Even when I have the time or energy to craft it feels un-satisfying. How can I justify spending time on me when I have so many more that require my time and energy? I just want to be free of the burden I feel to have it all in and under control. Somehow I am now a lesser person because I lost my balance and have fallen flat. Some how I need to get up and finish my race. Or at least make my race worth running. Im not alone in this right?

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This moment

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A picture of today.

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